He Knows, He Hears, He Sees

Labor Day weekend took on a whole new meaning this year. Instead of celebrating the labor of hands, I endured some labor of the heart.

Over the process of the weekend, my sister began experiencing many frightening medical difficulties, which resulted in her husband rushing her to the emergency room late Sunday night, soon diagnosed with a serious infection.

As soon as I learned about her situation, my heart sunk - as it has done countless times before, when I would realize that she was suffering with yet another painful circumstance, resulting from her battle with Multiple Schlerosis.

I prayed for her with great vigor, as I always do. I tried to hope for the best, as I always do. I pleaded for Gods blessing and provision over her, and for His miraculous healing, as I always do.

But what I also always do, with each new trial she faces, is desperately cling to the truths in Gods Word - truths that promise love, protection, healing, blessing, and purpose for pain. But with each new painful and undeserved trial she has to endure, the deepest parts of my heart begin to feel emptied of hope, labored with uncertainty, and filled with doubt.

I was out of town over the weekend when this infection started, so I packed up the family and we hopped in the car for the three hour drive back to the hospital.

Although my heart was heavy, I knew I was a couple weeks behind in my daily chronological Bible reading, simply because life had been busy and my normal routines had been out of sync. My time kept slipping away somehow, and with each passing day, I promised God I would catch up with Him soon.

Stuck in the car with time on my hands, it seemed the perfect time to do some serious catching up.

Before opening my Bible, I said a prayer. Just a little prayer, but it was filled with a desperate need for reassurance. I simply said, "Lord, do you see my sister? Do you see her pain? Do you see her suffering? Do you care about her? Lord, really, do you even see her?" Then I focused on the pages of my Bible, hoping that God would speak to my spirit and lessen my labored heart.

After reading over the daily readings that I was supposed to have read ten days ago, I soon realized that God already knew about my lack of time management lately. In fact, He used my lack of time, to become a part of His perfect timing, and to give me a Word from Him, at the exact time I needed it.

The words "do you even see her Lord?" were still ringing in my thoughts as I came across this verse in Lamentations:

Lamentations 3:49-51 My tears flow endlessly; they will not stop until the Lord looks down from heaven and sees. My heart is breaking over the fate.....

The words "the Lord sees" jumped off the page. The word "my heart is breaking" jumped off the page. The words "my tears flow endlessly" jumped off the page. There were a lot of words bouncing around in our cars atmosphere! But it was wonderful - I needed to know that He saw her, and through these words, He reassured me that Yes, He did.

And friends, He has done that for me so many times during her battle with this disease, and on many occasions I have written about it on my blog. So many times, that I am almost ashamed to admit doubt. But God is so faithful, and once again, He was.

But how easy it is to doubt Gods sovereignty, despite past triumphs, when it seems that the battles of this world are waging war against someone we love, or against us - and winning.

To know that He sees us, down here on earth, in the midst of our pain and suffering, and to be reassured of that love, is almost more blessing than I can wrap my mind around.

How phenomenal to think that the Lord of all creation, heard my one little question, the cries of a sisters heart, and divinely planned my exact Bible reading on a day when I would be seeking the answer to that one little question. Had I read that verse a few weeks ago, I may have simply overlooked it. But on this day, it was the voice of God. There are many other verses that I have allowed to sink into my spirit since the weekend, of how God sees us in our every day lives, and I thank Him for each and every little step of affirmation of His love.

Maybe you have wondered if God sees your loved one who is suffering. Maybe you have wondered if He sees you, and your suffering. I want to reassure you today, that He does. He knows your name. He sees your situation. He loves you, and those you love. And He hurts.

I also read this verse while riding down the interstate that day - Lamentations 3:31-33 - For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love.For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.

God knows how much it hurts to watch a loved one suffer, because He watched His own Son die on the cross. His heart must have been breaking, His tears endlessly flowing. His ears burning when Jesus wondered if God even saw Him, on that cross - when His Son felt forsaken - but even as Jesus yelled out to the heavens, with the little bit of strength He had left, "God, why have you forsaken me?!".... His Father was still there. Knowing all. Hearing all. Seeing all.

Sometimes I wonder if my sister feels forsaken. I wonder if she feels as if God has forgotten her, even though her faith appears to stay strong.

But I stake my hope in the verses above, knowing that God sees us her, loves her, and cries for her. And because of His great compassion, I believe that He has not forsaken her.

Because our God, knows our names.

My name. Your name. Your loved ones names. Even when we feel forsaken or forgotten, or wonder why it seems He has forsaken those we love.... He is still there. Knowing. Hearing. Seeing. Caring.

Unwavering hope in the middle of our own trials and sufferings, and of those that we helplessly watch our loved ones endure, can only come from embracing those priceless truths that God Was, Is, and Always Will Be. That God knows, hears and sees all.

That God loves - always and forever, with great compassion. Those promises are ones that our heart can labor over every day, and the outcome will always be joy, instead of heartache.

Lamentations 3:55-57 I called on your name, O LORD, from the depths of the pit. You heard my plea: "Do not close your ears to my cry for relief." You came near when I called you, and you said, "Do not fear."

How are you changing a life today?

Well it is officially official - life is back to normal.

The lazy days of summer are over - the crazy days of the school year have begun.

This week has been one of the busiest weeks we have had in a while. Between football practices, cheerleading practices, tumbling practices, tennis practices, football games, tennis matches, work, church, school, homework, hormones, drama and social lives - our family hardly time to even eat this week!

So describes the life of the average American woman.

But in the midst of this crazy week, I read one short little sentence that made me take a mental break from the craziness of life, and focus on a spiritual break with God.

On Wednesday, my sweet friend Zoe posted a quick little sentence on her Facebook wall, that made me stop and think. She simply wrote, "what are you doing to change someones life today?"

Hmmmmm. I was sure I had done something. Although nothing came to mind immediately, I hoped I could come up with something profound before the day was up.

After all, I had been really busy! Super busy, with important stuff. All those activities I mentioned above, required sacrifice, time, effort, money, love, and lots and lots of hours behind the wheel of my car.

But had any of my activities, and busyness, actually changed a life?

I know all those things were good things. Things that a good little mommy does for the people she loves. Things that we should do out of love, not obligation.

But did they change a life? Seriously - did anything I was doing that day hold the value of impacting someones life for the better?

As I was beating myself up over the fact that maybe I was not doing anything of much importance when it came to changing lives, God impressed upon my heart that I didnt have to pull a drowning person from a raging flood, or save someone from a burning car, to change a life.

The reality is, that those drastic life-changing opportunities are few and far between (thank goodness!) but the little things that we do each and every day can, and do, impact lives.

As we love on our families and care about their feelings, we are showing them kindness, which teaches them to be kind.

As we pray with our children about hard situations at school, we are teaching them to be dependent on God.

As our families see us trusting God to provide and thanking Him for the blessings that we have, they see us trusting Gods ways, which teaches them to trust.

As we do simple things liking fixing dinner for those we love, or going to work every day to provide for their physical needs, we are exhibiting servanthood, which teaches them about the importance of serving others.

Even as we spend fourteen hours in the car in one week while toting our children from one place to another, we are providing an example of placing the desires and needs of another person, before our own, simply because we care.

As our children - and other people who may be observing us from a distance- notice how we stop to hold open a door for someone, say thank you, help a stranger with their grocery bags, give money to a homeless person, hold our tongue when we are angry, forgive someone who hurt us, spend time in our Bibles, serve at church, help someone with a project at work that is not even our responsibility - we are making a statement about who we are are, who we worship, and who we are in Christ.

If you think about it, one of the keys to changing a life, in our every day circumstances and routine busyness, can really be found in one of the most popular verses in the Bible.

It is a verse that we may know by heart, but that we often forget to adhere to as we are running through the streets of life at full force speed.

A verse that sounds great and spiritual and wonderful - but a verse that is much harder to apply, than it is to believe.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (NIV)

Random offerings of fruit, will result in a delicious harvest of words, actions and behaviors that impact hearts, and maybe, even change a life.

God will use our ordinary lives, to do extraordinary things, if we remember to bear fruit along the way.

He uses our random acts of kindness, to those we love, those we may not love, and even those we have never met, to impact hearts as they see Him shining through us.

I have a challenge for us to tackle together over the next week.

Lets focus on starting a fruit revolution - a kindness revolution - a loving revolution - a saving revolution.

Every morning for the next week, as soon as you wake up, ask God a little question... "what can I do to change a life today?".

I cant speak for God, of course, but I can only imagine, that if we ask Him that question with an open heart and mind, He will show us the answer.

Me, A Treasure?

Thank you everyone for participating in the prize package giveaway! The winner was randomly selected, and the winner is Rachel Hausam! Rachel will soon receive a $10 Starbucks card, an audio CD of Empowered By A Whisper, and a $25 gift certificate to give to her to church to use towards bringing me to a future event. Congrats Rachel!

I am going to kick off the day with a confession.

One of my biggest pet peeves in life, is reality shows. I despise reality shows. Of any kind. Of any subject. On any channel. Ill just leave it at that.

A couple nights ago, after everyone had gone to sleep and the house was quiet, I flopped down in my bed and began some mindless channel surfing to help me settle down after a busy day.

It is always amazing to me how there are hundreds of channels, but I can never find anything decent to watch! But in my channel surfing, I came across a show that was so bizarre, it caught my attention. I hate to admit that I watched it, but I did.

Then, it broke my heart.

On this particular show, young men and women meet for the first time - in pitch black dark. Then they spend a couple days together in a room - in pitch black dark. They talk and get to know each other - in pitch black dark.

Maybe Im old fashioned, but I just think that is weird - but that wasnt the worst part.

After a few days of hanging out in the dark together, the time would come when the couples would meet - in the light.

These poor women were beside themselves with anxiety as they prepared for their revealing, wondering if the man would like their look, not just their personality.

(Please know that I am NOT man bashing at all - I know that there are many countless men who are wonderful and love the women in their lives for who they are - I am merely repeating what happened on this particular show as a reference point.)

The defining moment came, and each couple stood face to face, in the pitch black dark. Then a spot light appeared on each of them for a few brief seconds, giving them a glimpse of this mystery person they had come to know and adore, in the dark. Afterwards, they would proceed back to the main room, and give their opinion about the other person to their fellow reality show members.

These three ladies on this show were beautiful. Not perfect, but beautiful. Not flawless, but beautiful. Regarding their personalities and values, I only know what they shared during the show, but they seemed to be beautiful on the inside as well.

But all that mattered at this stage of the game - was their physical appearance. Their entire self confidence could be lifted up, or shattered, by the opinions and responses of these men.

After seeing the ladies, the men got back together and proceeded to talk about each of the women... and how they were not what they expected.

According to these men, the women were not as in shape as the women they normally dated. They were not as fashionable as they had hoped. They were not as pretty as the women they usually sought after. They were not as tall, or short, or voluptuous, or whatever physical attribute they felt most important.

Simply put, these ladies were less than perfect. Emphasis on "less than".

Although these men pointed out their imperfections, they did say that they might be able to overlook them, since they had liked them, before they saw what they looked like.

I cannot imagine the feelings of inadequacy that each of them must have been felt as they stood there in silence, knowing they were being judged.

But more importantly, I cannot fathom the overwhelming insecurities that surely swelled in their hearts and minds as they stood there in the spotlight, hoping that someone would see their value.

You could see the worry in their eyes, despite their painted on smiles, as their minds were surely filled with thoughts such as: Will he still like me, now that he knows what I look like? Did he like what he saw? Am I pretty? Will he want me? Am I good enough?

Deuteronomy 26:18 And the LORD has declared this day that you are his people, his treasured possession as he promised, and that you are to keep all his commands.

In Hebrew, the word “POSSESSION” is a highly significant word. It describes the treasures of kings such as in 1 Chronicles 29:3, Ecclesiastes 2:8. These treasures were the kings most valued possessions.

So in this passage in Deuteronomy, the Lord is telling Israel that it will become His most valued possession upon accepting his proposal to believe.

The Lord is telling Israel that it is His treasure chest - his special treasure, and that upon acceptance of Him as Savior, Israel will be what He values most.

God CHOSE them, from among all people, because of their value to Him. He loved them, despite their history of idolatry, unbelief, betrayal, and yes, even imperfections.

He hand picked Israel, His jewels, for His treasure chest, simply because He loved them and knew their value.

Friends - we are now Gods Israel. You. Me. The ladies on that show, who were hanging their self worth and value and confidence on the words of a seemingly total stranger.

I wish I could call each lady that was on that reality show, and tell her that the criticism and judgement she received, was not reality, but merely biased opinions based on self centeredness and shallowness. Biases founded on earthly standards and unrealistic expectations for perfection - by people who are themselves, imperfect.

But if we are honest with ourselves, we are all much like those show guests, at times - hanging our value on the strings attached to someones elses opinion.

Why do we allow others to judge us, and then base our own self worth and value on those opinions?

Why do we play the comparison game, comparing ourselves to others, when we know it only leads to disappointment, causing us to feel as if we are "less than" in some way?

Why do we allow criticism to creep into the deepest most sensitive parts of our hearts, instead of remembering that we are beautiful because of WHOSE we are, not who we are, or what we see in the mirror?

Why?

Because we are human. Because we are broken. Because we know we are imperfect.

The Bible tells us in Ephesians 6:12 that our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of the dark world and the spiritual forces of evil.

Emphasis here, on "dark".

The enemy, who lurks in the dark, would love to destroy us through the tearing down of our self esteem. He knows that if he can weaken our self esteem through lies and hurtful words of others, that our faith may become weak as well.

In the dark, and behind the scenes, he works against us, hoping that we will succumb to insecurities; and that we will not believe in our value through Christ; that we will begin to feel "less than".

Sweet friends, today is a new day. A day to stand proud. A day to love yourself.

A day to love whose you are, not just who you are.

A day to see yourself through His eyes, and not your own, or the eyes of someone else.

A day to remember that you are a special treasure, held by God in His holy treasure chest; one unique jewel, precious, and full of luster and beauty in every way.

A day to remember that you are adored - imperfections and all - and that God loves you in the dark, and in the light, with no strings attached.

Enjoying All The "Firsts"

Heavy sigh.

Today, is the first day of school.

For many parents, the beginning of school is a day to rejoice - freedom has returned!

Less entertaining and trying to keep the kids occupied all day, and more time to get stuff done.

Less sibling rivalry (at least until after 4pm) and more peace and quiet.

Less dirty dishes around the house, and more time to keep up with chores.

Less summer camps to transport to and from, and more gas that stays in the car.

Less money spent when you are out and have to grab a quick bite to eat (since there is one mom, instead of one mom and many kids), and more money to spend on other necessities.

Regardless of how much we love our kids, we all have differing feelings about when school starts back, and as for me, I feel a little sad.

Even though I might have less of some things that I didnt enjoy, I also have less of many things that I adored, and then I miss them.

I miss lazy mornings in bed, days at the pool, and visits to the beach. I miss the endless movies watched time and time again; my kids friends hanging out at our house; shopping on a whim; and summer nights on the deck.

I miss lots of time to talk and laugh, and even argue, but in the end, time that was well spent together.

I miss annoying pleas to play Monopoly, for the hundredth time.

I miss whines of boredom, although they are not my favorite, that drown out empty sounds of a silent house.

In fact, I think I might even miss the daily routine wakeup question in my house - "mom, what are we doing today?"

But even though there are things I will miss, the school year always brings new "firsts", and this year I seem to have more than my fair share.

Morgan is a Junior this year, already a pro at the trying years of high school. But she has taken on a new sport this year for the first time, and is ready for an exciting year as she grows up.

But my other two "firsts" are disturbing me even more - Kaitlyn will be a Freshman in high school, and my baby - little Michael as we call him - will be a 6th grader in middle school (a middle school Freshman, per se).

To top that off - Morgan has a new drivers license and a new car, so she will be driving herself, and Kaitlyn, to school. Yikes. Be still my beating heart. I had to say a little prayer as I watched them drive out of the driveway this morning. (Note to self: fight off all overwhelming urges to call yourself old and ancient.)

I dont know about you other moms and dads out there, but that is way too many "firsts" in one day in my opinion! Maybe you are better at handling "firsts" than I am, but for some reason, each and every one brings tears to my eyes, and the reality that my babies are growing up.

My heart skips a beat as I realize what wonderful children they have become, and I await a lot of skipped beats which will occur as I witness their new "firsts" in the coming years.

But thankfully, I know that all the "firsts" to come, may sometimes bring tears, and sometimes bring great joy, but that I will trust that God will be right in the middle of each and every one of them. It may seem like a "first" for us, but God is a pro at them all.

If any of you have kids starting school this week, or "firsts" of your own that are tearing at your heart strings, let us know about them so we can all pray for each other!

I pray you have a wonderful week of "firsts"!

(Above is a picture of my 3 precious ones on their first day of school today - all of whom thought picture taking was completely unnecessary. But thats okay. Smiles.)

Turning Life's Disappointments Into God's Appointments

Hi friends! If you are stopping by today from the Proverbs 31 devotion, then welcome! You picked a great day to visit, because today I am excited to reveal my new blog design!

To celebrate my new look, I will be giving away a special prize package which includes a $10 Starbucks gift card, an audio CD of my session called Empowered By A Whisper, and a $25 gift certificate which can be used towards a future booking to bring me to your churchs next womens event!

If you would like to be in the drawing for this cool prize package, then just sign up to receive my blog posts and quarterly newsletters via email this week! Simply enter your email address in the subscription box on the sidebar, and in the newsletter pop form when you see it in just a second! Check back on Friday to find out if you are the winner.
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Now back to our regularly scheduled program.......

In todays P31 devotion, I discussed a recent disappointment I experienced, which led to my feeling rejected, depressed, and unworthy. These feelings fueled my desire to throw in the towel and surrender to defeat, instead of trusting Gods will in this situation.

In the midst of that disappointment, negative feelings and emotions were strong, temporarily blinding me to the fact that God could use that disappointment to His glory.... until I came across the passages in Psalm 25 about trusting God and finding hope in Him alone.

I found myself faced with a choice.... I could either allow the devil to use this disappointment to make me stumble in my faith, or I could allow God to use it as a divine appointment to trust Him and glorify Him through it.

When we think of the word "appointment", several things may come to mind - doctors appointments, hair salon appointments, or business meeting appointments, but regardless of the reason, appointments have a purpose. A desired outcome. An expectation.

Whether for something trivial like a haircut, or serious like an MRI scan or a job interview, we typically put the appointment on our calendar and hold ourselves accountable for meeting it. We await the day when the appointment is to take place, we make appropriate plans, we prepare as needed, and we make it a priority.

God longs for us to prioritize our appointments with Him with the same importance. He knows life is busy, and life is hard. In fact, He tells us many times in His Word, that life will be tough, and full of trials and disappointments... but that He is tougher.

As I think back about various difficult and heartbreaking times in my life, I can already see how God has used many of them for good. It has sparked my faith, and allowed me to trust with my whole heart, that He truly can use all things for good eventually.

When I see how God took what the devil meant for evil in my life, and used it for His glory, I can do nothing but praise Him, and get excited about future appointments He may have in store for me.

I have come to understand that sometimes it takes doing an inventory of our past disappointments, even if it brings back some painful memories, to begin seeing the divine appointments God has set for our future, and our faith. What better way to see how far we have come, than by looking at where we started?

In Genesis 50:20 we read about how Josephs eyes are finally opened to Gods plan, as he catches a glimpse of how God orchestrated all the difficult events in his life, for the sole purpose of impacting other peoples hearts for God. That verse says, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people."

We are no different than Joseph. A person with troubles, who brought glory to God, simply because He trusted in God to be in charge of the appointments in his life.

Maybe you have had gone through some difficult life experiences, and still struggle with seeing how God could bring good out of it.

Maybe you are still in the midst of a major disappointment or difficulty, or in the aftermath of one, and cannot even fathom how God could use that situation for His glory.

Maybe you realize today, that you have simply never asked God how He could use your disappointments for His glory.

Or maybe you have just never given Him permission to do so.

Regardless of the place we may find ourselves in, it is never too late to set an appointment with God. An appointment to meet with Him each and every day, where we can look forward to hearing His voice, and embracing the opportunity to gain a glimpse of the divine appointments He has in store for us. His appointments have more purpose than any we could set on our own.

If God has used a disappointment in your life, as a divine appointment to impact the hearts of others or increase your faith, will you encourage us with your story? Nothing is more motivating than to see and hear how God is using evil for good in the lives of His children. Lets share life together this week. Smiles.

When Silence Is Golden

I am a woman - thus I like to talk.

I am a mom - thus I like to talk.

I am a speaker - thus further proving, that I like to talk.

And when I talk, I want people to listen. But more importantly, I want people to talk back. After all, who wants to talk to themselves? I honestly believe that communication is the backbone of every relationship.

I have a dear loved one in my life, who will listen, but will not talk, if a conversation is not one that they are interested in having.

No matter how much I say, how many different things I want to talk about, feelings I share, thoughts I express, hurts I discuss - silence. If this person does not want to talk about something, then they simply dont. And I dont like it.

The other day, I was feeling very frustrated about yet another one-way-conversation that had occurred, and the term "drowning in silence" popped into my mind. I have no idea where it came from, but there it was. Hanging in my thoughts. I couldnt seem to get it out of my head.

But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. In more ways than one.

You see, sometimes when I am trying to have a conversation with someone, and they are not reciprocating, it seems that the silence is heavier than if I were submerged at the bottom of a pool, weighted down by the water overhead, and engulfed by the deafening silence that surrounds me. There is a desperate longing for conversation and reassurance that becomes so overwhelming, it almost feels like drowning.

But instead of gasping for air, it is like gasping for two-way communication. Desperate for words to be spoken and thoughts to be shared. Just like air is a necessity for living, so is mutual communication.

Lately I have been talking to my heavenly Daddy - a lot - not just about this, but various things. I have shared with Him many thoughts, asked Him lots of questions, inquired for answers, pleaded for clarity, and reached out, and up, for assistance and direction. Yet what I felt I was hearing...... was silence. One-way communication. And I didnt like it.

Do you ever wonder why God seems to be silent? Why it seems that the communication is only coming from you, and one-way conversations seem to describe your prayer life? Do you ever find yourself wondering if He is really even listening? As if your words were just bouncing off the ceiling, and nobody was listening, much less God?

I think it would be so awesome if God would just send a big huge truck to cross my path, carrying blinking neon signs in all different colors that point in a specific direction and say "this way Tracie!"......or maybe just one carrying signs with one-word statements as answers to my prayers, such as "yes", or "no", "wait", or "trust". Geesh, I really want that truck.

But I began to wonder if maybe something was blocking my ability to hear from God - maybe something was standing in the way of that truck and it couldnt get through to me. Maybe it was sin. Maybe it was unworthiness. Maybe it was unimportance.

When people dont care enough to talk back to us, we may begin to feel unworthy or unimportant. As if our feelings dont matter at all. But those types of lies are exactly what the enemy would like for us to think about God.

Satan wants us to believe that it is ridiculous to think that the God of the universe would care about talking to us; that we dont deserve to hear Him speak; that we are not worthy of two-way conversations with Him; that He gave up on us a long time ago.

But I know that Gods promises tell us otherwise. And His Word far outweighs the lies of the enemy.

John 3:16 tells us that God loves us so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross for us. If we were important enough to die over, I think we are important enough to be talked to! Now, I do like that.

As I said above, communication is the backbone of any relationship, including our relationship with God. Prayer should not be a Christian duty, but a Christian delight. Delightful conversation where we can openly share our innermost feelings and thoughts, and know that He is listening and responding and caring.

You know, once I sat down and thought about the past few weeks - various little things that had happened, how I had seen Him at work, situations where I felt His presence, bible verses that comforted me just when I needed them, little miracles that I know only He could have orchestrated, and things made my heart swell with love - I realized that God had not been silent at all.

God had been talking, a lot. It was I who had not been listening. God loves us and wants to communicate with us, just as we desire to communicate with the people we love.

So yes, I like to talk. What a blessing it is to know that God likes it too!

When we feel desperate for conversation, His ears are open.

When we need support and comfort, He will provide it.

When we are drowning in silence, He will break that silence with love.

We talk - He listens - and in His way, according to His perfect timing, He will respond.

Drowning in silence is no fun, but sometimes Gods silence could be an invitation to stop focusing on our circumstances, and focus on Jesus. It could be an opportunity for trusting God, and embracing His promises of faithfulness, in every situation.

I suppose there are times, when silence truly can be golden.